Tuesday, 21 October 2008

• Trust the Teacher

   

  "Teacher, look what he's doing!!" "Teacher, she's talking and not paying attention!" "Teacher, he said it wrong!"

  As I stood at before a classroom of adorable little 3rd graders I was accosted by a chorus of cries and complaints as the little darlings, looking around, discovered that not all of their classmates were quite as angelically inclined at that moment. Patiently I reminded them again of my classroom rules...

  "Let the teacher be the teacher; you take care of you, and don't worry about what others are doing. Teacher can handle those students on her own...it's your responsibility to make sure that YOU are paying attention, listening to the teacher, and saying the words correctly."

  The old story! In this class it seems I am constantly repeating this idea over and over because they just can't remember that I am the teacher and I can take care of any problems that may arise. We continued on with the lesson. Then suddenly one little boy gets onto another kid for something he or she said wrong, and INSTANTLY there are four kids SHOUTING at him at the top of their lungs that he isn't supposed to be worried about others, but take care of himself...Sigh!!!! Well, they got the idea in theory, at least! After stopping at least three or four times in the lesson to address this kind of problem, my patience was gone. I sternly commanded all five kids to stand up and gave them a lecture once again...

  "Why do you think you have to be in control of all your classmates?? Are you the teacher? Oh! You're not!! Then who IS the teacher?? That's right...it's ME! Then do you trust teacher?? Do you think I am a bad teacher and I can't handle your classmates by myself? Do you think you need to be the little teacher and continually be picking out the mistakes of your classmates and yelling orders and commands? DO YOU TRUST YOUR TEACHER??"

  Of course their meek and subdued answer was, "Yes, teacher, we trust you!" "Good!...Then let ME be the teacher...OK?!"

  Just another day in the life of a teacher; an incident that I would probably have never thought of again...had not God brought it clearly to mind and to life in a lesson He is teaching me in regards to my relationship with Him.

  
  As I have seen the Lord at work here, and I have settled in and realized how easy of a life I have here, I have become more and more distressed about the one thing that is disatisfying in my life: my relationship with the Lord. Please don't get me wrong; it's not as though I am disatisfied with Him! He never EVER leaves me or forsakes me. His grace is there every moment - whenEVER I need Him He is there before I ask. I have all and MORE than I could ever want or desire in Him...but it's ME that is the problem. I long to know more of Him, to know His heart and to draw closer to Him with every passing day. Yet lately it seems as though there has been no power, no strength with which to seek Him...I KNOW where He wants me to be and I KNOW what I want to be...but there is no constant climbing higher...no drawing ever closer, no progress at all in my seeking Him. It is just a battle with the flesh, but I am tired of struggling so hard just for the ground I am standing on now...rather than struggling and GAINING ground! I want to stop living a life of just immaturely taking for granted the grace that I KNOW God is going to give me, and bring joy and delight to His heart by my delight in Him and quest to know Him more.

  I have shared my struggles with my parents and close friends, and they are praying for me and encouraging me. However this past weekend God gave me an opportunity to talk with a dear pastor friend who sometimes comes through Kinmen on his way to share the gospel in China. I shared with him the above, and how I am feeling so tired of this struggle and he listened, and shared some verses, and listened some more...I also shared with him how I have such a hard time casting my burdens on Jesus...I love the people God has brought into my life so much that I will worry about them, and fret until there is no leaving the burden with God. I say I am giving the burden to Him, but when I finish praying I just walk away with it still weighing heavily on my shoulders. After I talked for long enough to probably talk his ear off, he said one thing to me..."Do you trust God?" Of course I trust God! I told Him I did! He asked me again, "Do you REALLY trust God?" Like Peter, when Jesus asked his question the second time, I was startled and began to think..."Do I really trust Him?" And tears came to my eyes as I realized that I am just exactly like my little 3rd graders. I really have the best of motives, and I really do care about others, and care about what's right...want God's best for them, but I have been trying to take control and be their God...in other words, I am not trusting my Teacher. He knows me, and those He allows into my life better than I ever can or will...and He can handle my situations, as well as theirs, with NO help from me. He just priveleges me to be a tool in His hand...but if I am unwilling to leave the final results to Him, I am no different from those little children I lectured so severely. "Just trust the teacher!" I told them. "Do you believe I can handle these problems by myself?" I suddenly felt very meek and subdued, much like my students must have felt, as I seemed to hear His still small Voice asking me,

  "Rebekah, do you trust Me? Do you believe I can take care of these situations on My own? Do you really think I need you to take control and do it for Me? Just trust Me! Trust your Teacher!"

  "Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct Him? He that reproveth God let him answer...
  ...behold, I am vile; what shall I answer Thee? I will lay my hand upon my mouth..."
  Job 40:2-4

  But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I might declare all Thy works."
  Psalm 73:28

   

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